Male contraception: The Pill for Men (Stolen from the Economist)

THE array of women’s birth control developed in the last 50 years reads like a trip through Willy Wonka’s factory. Patches or pills; rings and coils; injected, implanted or inserted, women have more options than ever before to protect themselves from unwanted pregnancy. Which makes the lack of progress on male contraception all the more striking. Men today rely on the same two methods they had in the 1950s, vasectomy and condoms. But vasectomies are drastic, and lads often claim that condoms are fiddly and spoil the mood. The burden of birth control, then, rests squarely on women.

That may at last be about to change. A new drug, called JQ1, has proven to be a foolproof male contraceptive—though the males in question are for now murine, not human. JQ1 began life as an anticancer treatment, but it caught the attention of Martin Matzuk at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, Texas. Dr Matzuk noticed that the gene it targets is similar to another, called BRDT, which is only active in the testes. By turning other genes on and off, BRDT governs the production of healthy sperm. Mice with their BRDT gene removed are sterile, and a study from 2010 found that European men with mutations in BRDT are more likely to have reduced sperm counts.

When it binds to BRDT, JQ1 accomplishes a similar effect temporarily. As Dr Matzuk and colleagues report in Cell, male mice given a relatively mild doses of JQ1 for six weeks showed an 89% drop in their sperm count, and the sperm they did produce were terrible swimmers. In the final month of testing, those which received a high-enough dose of the drug did not beget offspring, despite the fact that each was provided two receptive females and all displayed normal male desires, while mice not on the drug were fathering two litters a month.

Crucially, these effects were fully reversible. Once taken off the drug, the males reverted to normal sperm counts, sufffered no permanent damage to their reproductive organs, and sired typical numbers of healthy offspring. Mice on higher doses of the drug, or treated for longer, were slower to recover, but they, too, regained their prowess within one to three months.

That is welcome news for drug development. At the moment, research into male contraceptives has focused on testosterone-based drugs. They have drawbacks: higher levels of testosterone might increase the risk of prostate cancer or have knock-on behavioural effects (anabolic steroids, which mimic testosterone in the body, have been linked to “roid rage”). Worse, testosterone’s contraceptive effects are not uniform across populations. It appears to work better among Chinese men, for instance, than Caucasians.

The next step for Dr Matzuk and his team will be to tweak the structure of the drug so that it dovetails even more snugly with BRDT. This ought to minimise the odds of its own undesirable side effects. If all goes to plan, Dr Matzuk thinks, a human version the drug might be available to men within a decade. Womenfolk can’t wait to see him proved right.

50 Mistakes Women Make When Having Sex

FYI: This is not mine. I found it on Fetlife and thought I’d share it (source: https://fetlife.com/users/1001349/posts/931729)

**The Politics of Fucking

aka
50 Mistakes Women Make When Having Sex.**

*1. Assuming he can get a raging hard on when it suits you. Contrary to popular belief, men can’t just flip a switch and get it up because you decided to stop being a frigid bitch. Getting it hard is your job. I suggest you figure it out.

*2. Thinking that kissing needs to be this sweet romantic thing all the time. Sometimes pressing your lips against your partners mouth while you get off is the hot. It depends on the situation.

*3. Leaving him responsible for your orgasm. You know what gets you off. Tell him. If you don’t, it’s your own fault when he’s snoozing and you’re all wound up.

*4. Expecting him to cuddle. Men and women are wired differently. Sex makes most women want to talk and bond and all that shit. It makes men pass out. It’s a biological thing. Stop fighting it, and stop holding it over his head, it’s not his fault.

*5. Expecting him to fall asleep with you in his arms. That shit is uncomfortable after awhile. A little snuggling isn’t unreasonable, but when it’s time to actually sleep? An arm draped over you should suffice.

*6. Expecting him to always lay on the charm and romance. Sometimes, that’s nice. Sometimes. But expecting him to be all roses and candles all the time is like expecting you to act like a pornstar all the time. If you’re not willing to do that, don’t expect him to switch for you.

*7. Being selfish in bed. Regardless of the shit that Cosmo forces down our throats, sex is NOT just about us. Get over it.

*8. Using Cosmo as a sex bible. I dont know who comes up with half that shit, but I’m pretty sure they need counseling.

*9. Whining when he pushes your head down on his cock instead of stroking your hair. Know why he’s pushing, skippy? Because you aren’t doing it right, and have apparently ignored the other clues he’s given you. Pay attention to the signals that he’s sending you.

*10. Not moving at all. Missionary is not an excuse to do nothing.

*11. Expecting him to undress himself with any amount of grace. He’s about to get some pussy. Be glad he bothered to take his pants all the way off. If it concerns you so much, undress him yourself.

*12. Not shaving your legs. Im pretty bad at this myself. But if you want your guy stubble free, you better get out the razor.

*13. Allowing your crotch to resemble the amazon. Yes, waxing hurts. Yes, some people don’t want to go bare. Thats fine. If you like bush, great. If you have sensitive skin and can’t shave, I feel for you. But for the love of Christ, trim that shit if you want him to spend any time down there.

*14. Assuming that sex means a relationship. The only relationship you have is that he has now stuck his hoo hoo dilly in your cha cha. That’s as far as it goes unless otherwise noted.

*15. Withholding oral sex just because you’re ragging. He didn’t do it. Unless you want him to withhold oral sex because he’s hormonal, I suggest you get some kneepads.

*16. Expecting him to figure out what you like by what noise you make. Use your words. Have you ever actually heard what you sound like while you’re having sex? If you heard yourself on tape, and someone asked you to explain what was causing you to make that noise, 67% of women would respond with answers like “I stubbed my toe” “I ran up the steps” or “I was putting up drywall”.

*17. Leaving condoms up to him. If you’re sexually active and insist that he uses a condom, I suggest buying a box and keeping it by your bed. Not all men keep them on them, and it’s just as much your responsibility as it is his. If you think that makes you a slut, you shouldn’t be having sex anyway. Go back to Jr High.

*18. Getting your undies in a bunch when he talks dirty. A little fantasy can be fun. If he treats you with respect all the time, you shouldn’t be offended when he calls you his dirty little slut. When he calls you a whore and tells you to come, its his way of showing that he cares if you get off. Stop being a sissy.

*19. Refusing to be spontaneous. I know this is shocking, but sometimes sex OUTSIDE of the bedroom is fun.

*20. Dissing quickies because it’s not some slow sensual ordeal. Sex is a dynamic thing. Theres an awesome raw energy when you only have 20 minutes but having to have someone so bad that you do it half clothed against the wall. Readjust your thinking.

*21. Being too much of a pussy to tell him what is or isn’t acceptable before you start bumping uglies. Be honest. If he asks if he can poke you in the butt, and you giggle and say no like it’s an invitation, don’t look surprised when he “accidentally” sticks his cock in your butt.

*22. Expecting him to undress you. I put a bra on almost every day. I know for a fact that getting them off isn’t always easy. Help a brother out.

*23. Undressing in the dark. If youre shy, dim the lights, but give the man something to see. No ripping off the clothes and diving under the covers, either.

*24. Refusing to get on top. Theres no reason men should have to do all the work.

*25. Getting that bored look on your face. Men are more visual than women. Give him something to look at. Get on top and arch your back a little bit. Move. Do something to indicate that you 1) are not dead and 2) didn’t suffer a minor stroke rendering you unable to move.

*26. Expecting him to do all the touching when you’re riding him. It’s your body, you’re used to it. Play with your tits, rub your clit, do something to make his job easier.

*27. Being too afraid to guide your partner’s hand when hes touching you. Don’t like the way he’s doing it? Gently take his hand and show him how you like it.

*28. Getting into bed, getting naked, fooling around and then deciding that you just want to cuddle, then getting offended when he doesn’t. Its your choice to stop, but don’t look all fucking surprised when he’s confused. You got him naked in your bed, what else did you think was going to happen?

*29. Refusing to let him take control. So your a feminist. Big fucking deal. Letting him call the shots doesn’t make you any less of one.

*30. Refusing to take control. Its ok to crawl across a bed to him on all fours, push him down and crawl on top. It’s not his responsibility to start things all the time.

*31. Forgetting that he has a body that likes to be touched, too. Men have things like backs and shoulders and stomachs and other parts that are fun to kiss and touch. You miss a lot of good places by concentrating solely on his penis.

*32. Ignoring his balls. Seriously, they are there. Kiss them, lick them, suck on them, make a relationship with them, just don’t ignore them.

*33. Leaving him to his own devices. Nothing is worse than a girl who gets you most of the way off and then bolts because she doesn’t want to deal with the mess.

*34. Launching into some speech about not being an object for sex when he tries to titty fuck you. Jesus Christ, just push them together and enjoy yourself. You get a great view.

*35. Expecting him to handle you like a porcelain doll. I’d hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you’re not going to break, sister. So doing it against the wall gives you a bruise on your shoulder. Look at it later and giggle at the memory.

*36. Refusing to try things in the name of “making love”. You’re not making anything. You are naked. With another person. Making strange faces and weird noises. Stop romanticizing it.

*37. Taking things way too seriously. Sex is funny. Actually it’s hilarious. Somewhere along the line, someone is going to fall off of a bed, hit their head on a lighting fixture, accidentally kick a midget or trip over a goat. It’s how you deal with it that really matters.

*38. Throwing a bitch fit when he asks for a 3 some. Its the American dream. (I know my ex is reading this right now, so a quick interjection. One request for a 3 some is ok. Every 5 minutes, not so much. Know the difference).

*39. Continuing a blow job knowing that you have god awful cotton mouth. Really. Grab a bottle of water.

*40. Nails. Its one thing tracing them up and down your partners back. Its another when you snag the goods with a claw.

*41. Bitching when you get jizz on you. You’re having sex. That will happen. Thats the entire point of sex. Establish where he can and cant jizz and be done with it. Remember, it tightens the pores.

*42. Not making any noises at all. Moan. Scream his name. Something so he knows he’s the best you’ve had, even if he isn’t.

*43. Faking orgasms. Just. Don’t. By faking (IF he believes you) he thinks he’s doing everything right. And if he doesn’t know its not working, he’s not going to change it. Starting a vicious cycle of unfulfilling sex which will eventually be very damaging to his ego.

*44. Not washing before sex. I know that sex is spontaneous, this is more of a general statement. If you haven’t showered that day, and things smell a little…fishy…perhaps demanding oral sex is a little ridiculous of you.

*45. Anything that involves inserting anything into his body that he has not specifically approved before hand. I don’t care what Cosmo says, some things are simply not pleasant surprises.

*46. Refusing to use oils/whipped cream/other messy but fun things because you have 541510630 count Egyptian cotton sheets that were made by hand by the only person alive capable of sewing that pattern. They’ll wash.

*47. Doing all of your before bed things before sex. Yes, sleeping with makeup on is bad. Now is not the time to remove it, you can do that later. And really fucking you with your hair in a ratty scrunchie with acne cream on your nose is not all its cracked up to be.

*48. Cleaning up after sex. Wiping the splooge off is one thing. But changing the sheets immediately so you can get the other ones in the washer and then sanitizing everything your naked body might have possibly passed by is not the way to do it.

*49. Making a big deal out of it if he loses his hard on. This is not an interrogation, or 20 questions. It happens, he’s probably mortified and you are NOT helping. Refrain from using phrases like “it happens to every guy”. Just move to other activities until it gets hard again, and if it doesn’t, get off another way with him. He’s still capable of getting you off. Mumbling “Forget it” and rolling over are not ok.

*50. Asking questions right afterwards. The woman equivalent of “was it good for you?”. Now is not a good time to ask “What this means”. Right now, it means he probably needs to take a drink, a leak and a nap, perhaps not in that order.

That is all.

Tantric Masturbation to Help Stop Watching Porn?

Ok so I was getting pretty horny tonight and considering I’m back at my parent’s for a couple weeks I can’t exactly drop trou whenever I want and masturbate at my PC. Throughout the night I was searching Craigslist looking for casual encounters and the like. I kind of like the idea of talking to randomers about sex. After my parents went to bed I flicked through a couple of kinky sites (fetlife.com, informedconsent.co.uk) and was getting a little hot under the collar. I started searching for some different ways to masturbate to make my session more enjoyable, and I stumbled across a couple of tantric masturbation sites:

http://www.mademan.com/mm/5-tantric-masturbation-tips.html

http://www.holisticwisdom.com/male-multiple-orgasms.htm

All I want to say is take head. I have to be honest my original assumptions on tantric sex and all that was that it was all bollocks and nonsensical voodoo. I still mostly think that it is, but take away the unpronounceable Indian words and it does make sense.

I started by getting completely naked and switched my heater on so I didn’t get too cold. I put the tissues beside my bed with my lube. I started by simply lying on my back on my bed, and felt my self all over (and I can’t stress this enough, don’t focus on your penis, show the rest of you a bit of love first). Build yourself up. I found myself almost climax when I was touching the side of my stomach!

After a bit I started stroking my prostate and eventually got a sharpie on the case, and simply held it in there with my covers so I could use both my hands. I tried to concentrate on the twitches and shakes in my legs. I used the ‘blowjob’ technique (here: http://www.holisticwisdom.com/male-masturbation-techniques.htm) which is a very nice technique I hadn’t encountered before. I stroked slowly and kept my breaths long and deep to prolong the sensation. My breathing was loud and seemingly uncontrollable (as if I was actually having good sex) and I had what was probably the most powerful orgasm I’d had since my first, which must have been almost 10 years ago!

It felt as if I was doing what I’ve seen women do in porn videos and what my sexual partners have told me they do, i.e. start of really slowly and enjoy the moment. Perhaps that’s something we guys ought to do more often rather than simply thinking about ejaculating in a reasonable time. There’s so much more to it! When I watch porn I sometime don’t even notice I’ve actually came and my hand is full of ejaculate. I’m concentrating on the screen and on moving my hand as fast as possible, without regard for what I’m actually feeling. During sex, random thought will get stuck in my head. Once I had Col. O’Neill off of Stargate SG-1 in there for the duration, even the kinkiest thoughts I had couldn’t shake him (that’ll teach me to watch so much SG-1 in future!). Anyways, once I get these thoughts stuck in my heads I have to think about something sexy and keep concentrating on that. If my concentration goes, i.e. if I think the condom’s broke, or she says something, I lose – I suppose – the energy (I can’t think of a better word) and have to start again and build myself up again. This is what takes effort and time, and can get extremely frustrating. If I can get the hang of taking it slow and being able to concentrate on myself and my partner then perhaps I’ll be closer to my ultimate goal, which I shall now remind myself, a happy and healthy sex life!

A Little Something on Anxiety

I was with my girlfriend last night and she was talking about her friend who is pregnant. She’s overly worried about getting pregnant, but it reminded me of something that has been in the back of my mind for quite some time. With my last girlfriend, mainly due to my inexperience, the condoms broke on a regular basis. If one hadn’t broken in a while I’d be constantly fearful of the one I was currently using breaking on me. We had two separate instances were I didn’t notice it breaking, I came inside her unprotected and she had to get the morning after pill. It’s one of the most heart breaking things to discover, after all that effort at intimacy, to have it shattered because a tiny piece of latex snapped, setting nature free.

Telling her was even harder. I remember my parents, teachers and sex-ed people, telling us in school to be candid with our sexual partners, to say if something like that happens so it can be sorted ASAP. I know that leaving it and not telling would be worse, but they don’t prepare you for impact the 3 words, “the condom broke”, has upon a relationship. We didn’t break up because of it, and we kept it to ourselves. Perhaps it made us stronger because of shared experience, but what I know it did was destroy my confidence in condoms.

I have only ever had unprotected sex twice with the same girl as she was on the pill. The rest of time time I wear a condom. After my first sexual relationship ended I hated condoms. Not because of some notion that they decrease pleasure or because they are extremely expensive (which they are for a student), but because I could not trust them. Every time I got close to orgasm my mind suddenly turned to thoughts of the condom breaking and me having to tell her that it had broke again. With my current girlfriend I often think the same, as I did last night, but with her there is a difference. There has only been one occasion when the condom has snapped when I’ve been with her. When we started to have more frequent sex I made sure that I was putting the condom on exactly right; I must have read the durex packaging 20 times. I used to just get the condom out of the packet, and with one hand slide it over my penis. Often this would mean that the tip at the end of the condom wasn’t visible or that there was an air pocket in it. These essentially made sure that the condom snapped when I sped up towards orgasm. Currently I use both hands; with my left I make sure my foreskin is back exposing the tip; I place the condom on top of my penis and with my right pinching the tip of the condom, the left rolls it firmly down the shaft. I make sure it’s all in order then enter her. This formula appears to be working so far, but it is taking me a long time to regain my confidence in condoms. My girlfriend’s going on the pill in a couple weeks. She still wants me to wear a condom. Personally I think it’s overkill, but I’m happy to placate her. But what this does mean is that I can afford to let go and stop worrying so much about the condom breaking. Her going on the pill gives me this leeway, which should be beneficial for the both of us.